I Will Not Drink the Flavor-Ade!

So I've been participating in Weight Watchers for almost two months and I have to say that at times, it feels a little cult like. I'm not trying to disrespect the program (I have lost 20 pounds in that time), but sometimes I feel like there will be little cups of a grape beverage passed to all of us.

I wasn't sure what to expect on my first visit. Would I have to introduce myself like they do in AA (or at least how it's always portrayed in movies & TV)? Hi, my name is Tim and I'm a fatty. I was relieved that the introduction wasn't necessary.

The program itself is good, in that it teaches good behaviors, but being so obsessive with this point system kind of creeps me out. (Perhaps this is just because I'm sick of counting points). The truth is, I don't always count my points like I should. Why you ask? I feel that because I've changed my diet AND because I regularly visit the gym, it really isn't always necessary. Just saying, a little lifestyle change goes a long way folks.

Oh and the meetings. Oy vey! I can understand applauding folks who have lost weight (in any amount -- let's face it, it's a big deal) is a good motivator. Seriously though, some of these folks need to SHUT THE HELL UP! I get so tired of listening to the same people over and over talking about the same thing every week. Some of this is an obvious cry for attention. If you're in that much need of some affection (you know some of these folks are treating applause as affection and affirmation) then get a pet. Or go have sex. Don't let your weight stop you dammit! Anyone can get some 'Brownchickenbrowncow' (say it fast) if they just try.

Plus, I don't understand the folks who like to eat during the meetings. Yes, they are snacks that you purchased at the meeting (seriously -- CULT. It's like the gift shop at a church. Makes you wonder, just a wee bit.) but you still need to count the points and stop shoveling them down your throats. Perhaps they should do away with chairs and have everyone do squats during the meeting. I know that some of the folks are only relying on the "point system" and not getting the exercise they need. Maybe a little motivation for them?

Like I said, it is helpful in teaching good habits, but maybe I'm just a little too dark and twisty to fully embrace it. Or, I'm just a dick.

I'm Not Big-Boned, I'm Fat!

I recently weighed myself and was faced with a number I have never seen before. That totally scary number (which you don't need to know) coupled with the way I look naked (and clothed for that matter) has sent me back to the gym in an effort to take some weight off. Don't get me wrong, gaining some weight has its benefits (like the fact that I actually have a bit of an ass now), but it's really not enough to make me wanna keep it on. Plus, my clothes are starting to not fit and I've paid too much for certain items to have them look too tight (a look that no one over 30 should ever try to sport).
I actually spent a great deal of my youth being chunky and rather plain looking, so this is really giving a beating to my self-esteem. Wait, I said chunky. What I really meant to say was husky. How I loathe that word. It brings back memories of my mother saying, "You're not fat, you're husky". Take it from me, that's just as damn bad. I was in a children's clothing store recently buying gifts and saw a display that said Slim, Regular, Husky. The poor sales lady must have thought I was a freak when I turned to Arne and began to rally against the evils of that word. Little Timmy and his husky jeans. Nothing worse than being a fat...sorry husky kid, except being a poor, husky kid (that's a post for another time).
Seriously, there are some photos of me that make me wanna shout DON'T FEED THE BEAR! (Of course by bear, I mean gummy bear, cause that's what I think I look like).
I did have a period about 10 years ago where I was thin. Fuck that, I was thin and hot. I was working out regularly and had a halfway decent body. This was also the period where I did a wee bit of modeling and considered being a stripper (which I did do once; spontaneously; by request of the bar patrons -- made some extra cash that night from it). I have no shame in admitting that. When you feel unattractive most of your life, knowing that folks find you sexy is quite a drug. Yes, my milkshake brought all the boys to the yard and I was certainly loving the attention.
Turning 30 a couple of years ago wrecked that. Now I have a noticeable stomach and there are many days where it hurts to button my pants (well, those that I can actually get on without breaking into a sweat). So I am determined to drop some weight and get back to my normal size. My motivation? That damn word HUSKY dancing in my head.