***Let me take a moment to preface this (shout out to Fran Fine!) and say that I was swimming over the weekend and have a bit of swimmer's ear. Actually, that's an understatement. Everything sounds so distant and at times I feel like I'm shouting from the bottom of a well. For those who know me, that means that I am probably speaking at a normal level for once rather than shouting, but whatever.
There seems to be a growing number of asshats running around with free reign to cause destruction, chaos and sheer annoyance wherever they may venture. (Mad props to
Jen Lancaster -- my literary goddess -- for introducing the word asshat to my vocabulary. Check out one (all) of her books; they'll make you laugh out loud). For whatever reason (bad karma perhaps) these particular individuals always seem to find their way to my general territory. Take for instance the asshat (also known as The Braid) who felt the need to violate me today with her blatant stupidity. If you are going to call me at work because you are confused by something that we are working on together, that's fine, I have no problem explaining the situation to you. HOWEVER, there is no reason to call me and in your, ahem, subtle way, allude to the fact that I am incorrect in what I am doing and the direction with which I am leading the project. Apparently, The Braid is not aware that I created my own religion, and because of this, it is impossible for me to be wrong (isn't that how it works?). Also, if you shut up for 2.5 seconds and listen to what I'm saying, maybe it will begin to sink in. (It could happen).
Is that what happened you ask? Why, of course not. Instead, la asshat (la chapeau de derriere?) chose to argue with me, with logic that made no sense (perhaps it did in her strange little world). I am typically not one to get angry when dealing with folks (no, seriously) but I had to raise my voice to even come close to making a point. I was even overcome with a need to quote Judy Judge and tell her to put on her listening ears (I managed to avoid that impulse). In the end, after a couple of emails, she realized -- I was right. Seriously, I usually am. Pay attention, it'll help you out in the end.
Unfortunately, this kind of asshatery is not new. This special breed of people seems to be popping up everywhere, spouting the kind of moronic statements that could easily push calm, collected individuals to a state of madness. I would like to propose a new asshat only tax that would go to fund the educational system. Maybe, just maybe, this will prevent future asshats from inflicting their overall suckiness on others. If not, then at least the tax they pay will make the rest of us feel better.
